


From Now On

by xndh



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Slice of Life, Taemin misses Jonghyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:30:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21841966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xndh/pseuds/xndh
Summary: Taemin misses Jonghyun and can't sleep. And maybe Jonghyun just can't have that.
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun/Lee Taemin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 70





	From Now On

The room is enveloped in a hazy sort of darkness, with only a few faint streaks of light leaking through the curtains, painting the walls in faded shades of neon pink and electric blue. The distant, smooth sighing of traffic the perfect, constant soundtrack for deep slumber. Warm, cozy notes of lavender and vanilla linger in the air, mingling with remnants of musk, creating a soft and sleepy atmosphere. 

The source of the scent, a light violet candle in a clear glass jar, is all but spent; it’s the one Taemin always lights when he misses his hyung the most. It’s a ritual to him, almost like a form of self hypnosis: familiar smells bring him great comfort and help him relax, and he finds the flicker of a candle flame soothing.

Sometimes it doesn’t work, though. It certainly hasn’t lately.

Tonight is the third night in a row that sleep has failed to find him, and he’s so tired… Beyond tired, exhausted - and therefore maybe even more restless than usual, tossing and turning, burrowing deep into the blankets. He hates sleeping alone. He never got used to it in the first place. Instead, he got used to having people around him, too used to his hectic life, and whenever things have the chance to cool down like this, it suddenly gets too calm, too still. Empty.

It’s just one of those things he can’t seem to come to terms with. He wonders if it’ll only get worse as time passes.

Time.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Seconds tick by, turning to minutes, turning to hours.

Tick, tock.

Taemin groans, and then breathes out yet another heavy sigh, his head heavier as he lifts it to turn his pillow over once more, letting his head drop back down immediately.

A small whimper escapes his lips. The silky material feels so nice. So cool. If only for a short while.  
  


If only.

  
  
It’s nearly four in the morning when he finally drifts off.

\---

He dreams the same dream he’s dreamt countless times before. 

And even though he _almost always_ wakes up in the middle of it, even though it _always_ leaves him inconsolable and close to tears, it’s the best dream he knows.

It’s the end of a day, the vast landscape before him softened by muted light and sweetly fading colors. He’s sitting on a hilltop, leaning his back against a giant oak tree. Its bark is uneven and a little rough through his shirt, but it’s still warm from the sun, and feels grounding. Everywhere he turns his gaze he sees endless fields of green, undulating in the balmy breeze of an early spring evening. 

Tiny blades of grass tickle his bare feet. He watches the clouds billow out towards the horizon as the sun sets swiftly behind them, painting everything in old rose and pastel peach. He’s not alone. Jonghyun’s there with him, sitting under the very same tree. He’s calling Taemin’s name, pointing at something in the sky, a certain cloud among dozens of others. Smiling almost shyly, uttering soft, soft words as he leans into Taemin and twines their fingers together. 

Taemin can’t make out the words and he doesn’t have to; he knows what Jonghyun’s saying. Knows his hand as it squeezes his own, knows his lips as they press to his so tenderly his heart stutters and turns over in his chest, pushes against his rib cage, feels like it’s going to burst.

_I know._

_Always, always._

\---

He starts to stir but fights it, fights the all too familiar tears welling up once again, wanting desperately to hold onto the dream, to slip back under and never wake up again. He still has Jonghyun’s fingers laced tight with his own and the mellifluous sound of his laughter in his ears, he can almost feel the touch of his other hand that’s come up to caress his cheek… 

… it startles him when the hand slips into his hair instead, so sure and gentle and _there,_ and then there’s a warm puff of air against his lips, and when Taemin’s eyes slide open all he sees is Jonghyun.

The curtains have been drawn and the full moon has the room bathing in silvery, almost otherworldly light. It reflects off the equally silver-colored hair falling in Jonghyun’s deep, brown eyes, granting him a small, shining halo. 

Jonghyun brushes the tip of his nose against Taemin’s in greeting.

“Hey you,” he whispers quietly, then melts into the most beautiful, loving smile Taemin knows.

Bright. Almost shy. Just for him. _Only_ for him. 

Taemin draws in a shuddering breath.

“H-hey yourself,“ he manages, batting his eyes slowly, his mind alternating between surprised joy and utter confusion. “How are you... here? You’re supposed to be-- ” Taemin stumbles over his words, trying hard to focus his thoughts. “I thought-- How? I don’t… ”

The dazzling smile widens. Then the mattress dips a little as Jonghyun shifts, smoothing the fingers of his other hand over Taemin’s jaw before cupping his chin. His lips are still only inches away from Taemin’s.

“Couldn’t stay away any longer, I guess…” he begins, speaking softly, eyes turning into crescents. “Besides. You don’t really sleep all that well when you’re alone, as we both know. Figured I had to fix that.”

Taemin can’t help smiling back at Jonghyun, and when he does, he feels his heart begin to swell. The shimmering light flooding the room seems to grow brighter somehow, like any shreds of clouds there might have been veiling the moon would suddenly have dispersed.

“I… _was_ asleep just now, though. I dreamed of you. And... I’m really not sure if I still am. Dreaming.” Taemin says, staring up at Jonghyun. Then, suddenly, his expression changes, the shadow of anxiety flitting across his features, his eyes going a little wild. “Hyung?” It comes out almost frantic, “I missed you.” _Needed you. So much._

Jonghyun’s face grows serious.

“I’m here now, Tae.” The hand in Taemin’s hair moves to the back of his neck, steadying him, holding on tight. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Jonghyun closes the small distance between them then, and presses his mouth to Taemin’s, soft and warm and _here_ and _now_. He kisses Taemin so gently he thinks he’ll drown in his longing, and then so deeply and slowly and yet so hungrily that Taemin forgets everything, forgets how to breathe, forgets his own name. He knows the solid body on his, knows the fingertips stroking his flaming cheek, knows the tiny little sound Jonghyun makes when he breaks the kiss.

“ _Swear_?”

Knows he means it as he solemnly nods his head. Knows _him._

Jonghyun’s eyes glisten, catching the moonlight as he leans down for another kiss. 

“I swear.” His lips brush against Taemin’s with each whispered word. “From now on, I’m staying right here with you.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> We all miss him.
> 
> We all love him.
> 
> So much.


End file.
